You Want the Truth?
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Q.
What is your corporate "sleep number" for the Sleep Comfort bed?
A.
A poll of the staff revealed that the corporate sleep number is 68, which is equivalent to a slightly firm mattress. We sleep well, our clients sleep even better.
Q.
What is your corporate shoe size?
A.
JKR’s corporate shoe size is divided into 2 categories, men’s & women’s. At this time, the aggregate gender-free number is unavailable.
Men – 12 ½, medium width.
Women – 6 ½, narrow width.
At this time, there is no amusing analogy about walking a mile in someone else’s Crocs™, or filling the over-sized wingtips of a revered predecessor, however, we are working feverishly on it and it will be posted the moment it becomes available.
Q.
I am an attractive woman in my forties, unencumbered, independent and rather wealthy. I seek nothing but good company, manners and wit in a man. I love to dine, dance, engage in stimulating conversation and listen to guitar music. Is Garrett available to escort me to the celebrity and state functions I am obliged to attend, and to reside at “the cottage” on weekends?
A.
Absolutely!
Q.
What about partner Kevin Baumann, is he available?
A.
Stay away from Kevin.
Q.
If I bring my business to JKR, what guarantees do I have?
A.
The only guarantees in life are death and taxes, everything else has a degree of uncertainty. But make no bones about it; clients who follow the JKR formula most often find success. Our experience reveals that when the prescribed media plan and creative are followed, sales and profits go up. When plans are doctored or diminished, sales are not nearly as predictable or robust.
Q.
Does JKR adhere to the Geneva Convention regarding treatment of prisoners?
A.
No, JKR does not take prisoners nor do our clients. Consequently, the treatment of prisoners does not apply.
Q.
Do you suffer from itching, burning, redness and swelling?
A.
No, but clients’ competitors do.
Q.
Advertising is expensive, how do I save money on advertising?
A.
No one has ever saved money on advertising …however; many have MADE MONEY THROUGH ADVERTISING.
Q.
The head bone is connected to neck bone, what else is connected to the neck bone?
A.
The backbone. When it comes to advertising, JKR's clients have lots of it.
Q.
I noticed in Partner Johnson’s bio that his favorite TV character from the show Dallas is Mr. Roark, but wasn’t Mr. Roark the guy from Fantasy Island?
A.
Yes, you are correct, and if you think it’s important for Mr. Johnson to know…you tell him, but just keep in mind how J. R. reacted when corrected.
Q.
Where do FAQ's come from? I've never submitted one to any website, nor am I aware of any others who have, would you care to comment?
A.
Sooner or later the truth will come out and JKR might as well fess up first and put this to rest. FAQ's are harvested from digitaly manipulated clones of a yet unclassified life form found at the mouths of sulphurous sea-vents on the ocean floor. There, the truth is out, we feel better already.